Ladies and Gentlemen of America,
After almost three whole months on your fine shores I would to share some, likely critical, information with you. I'm guessing a solid 75% of words used during my trip are not actual words as far as I can tell.
Below is a list of my all time favourites from our cousins over the pond...
A starter for 10: "Touchment"
Not a real word by any stretch, "The staff need a certain amount of touchment" really? do they? great!
In at 9: "Upgradation"
A casual bastardisation, "The upgradation is in the pipeline" teeth grinding.
At 8: "Updation"
The documentation updation has not happened yet. This makes my brain wince.
New at 7: "Agreeance"
Everyone at the meeting was in agreeance over [the issue]. Irritatingly popular!
In at 6: "Customerification"
Not exactly sure what the hell is meant by this, I just know I hear it alot....
New at 5: "Unpossible"
No, no, no. Punchtotheface.com
Brilliant at 4: "
Embetterment"
"How do we measure the level of embetterment on this project?" magical.
In third place: "Normalcy"
"Have we returned to normalcy?" Absolutely not, far from it actually......
In second place: "Misunderestimate"
Made famous by George Bush, I think we misunderestimated that man.....surely.
Our winner is: "COMFORTABILITY"
Hugely popular and fiercely defended as a real word, this is my absolute favourite of the lot. "We need to judge the comfortability of the group with this embetterment" joy joy joy.
Know any more? Let me know!
Murphontour.
